Happy Birthday, Little Man
I have been trying to think of what kinds of things I should say to my big boy. I've been thinking most of the night and words cannot even express how bittersweet this moment is. I never in a million years would have thought that I would be sitting here trying to think of something to say to Caleb. I say a lot, obviously, in my blogs, but for some reason, I'm just speechless and I have no idea what to write.
To my son, one of the loves of my life, I love you so very much. I know that you can't read this right now, but I hope one day, when you look back, you realize and know how much you are loved.
Three years ago today, I held you for the very first time in my arms. The moment I laid eyes on you, I fell in love and to this day, I love you the same as I did back then. You are very very dear to me. You are so special, and I'm so happy to have been chosen by God to be your mommy.
You make me laugh, cry (because I'm happy), sometimes you get me a little mad, but I hold you so dear to my heart.
Having you as my son is such a blessing. Everyday you are learning new things - and so quickly I might add. You are so smart, so witty, and you brighten my day like no other person can (aside from your daddy of course).
God blessed our lives with you in it, and I'm thankful everyday that he gave me you.
Looking back three years ago on this blog , it's amazing what a hard few days you had. But you came through it like a trooper, and here you are today, a big strapping three year old with attitude. LOL.
Happy Birthday, little man. I love you so very much. I hope you enjoy your day today.
Pictures to come later
Caleb's Yearly Forecast: Your child's growing world now includes everything from time in the dentist's chair to playdates with friends — and maybe even preschool. A better grasp of manners comes in handy now, as does a patient parent to teach fun new skills and help with potty-training backslides.
Been asked to set an extra place at dinner for an imaginary friend yet? As many as half of preschoolers have a pretend buddy. These phantoms don't mean your child is lonely or maladjusted. In fact, kids with imaginary friends are more likely to grow up to be creative, cooperative, sociable, independent, and happy.
An imaginary friend can be human or animal and usually comes with a name and distinct personality. Part confidant, part playmate, part protector, and part scapegoat, they help kids practice relationship building and let them be in control for a change. A pretend friend can be a child's way of handling an increasingly demanding, expanding world.
Watching your child's interactions with her imaginary friend can give you useful insights into her fears and stresses. If her imaginary playmate is afraid of monsters under the bed, then your daughter may be, too.
Although it's wise to be respectful of your child's imaginary friend, try not to get involved in the relationship. For example, avoid using imaginary friends as a way to manipulate your child ("Harvey ate his peas, why can't you?"). Instead, follow her lead. She knows deep down this is an imaginary creation, and it can be a bit alarming to her if you buy into it too readily. These extra members of the family usually disappear by age 7, as your child becomes immersed in the very real-life world of school.
Three-year-olds are beginning to learn colors. They can usually point to a color when asked and may be able to name four or more by midyear. Some fun ways to help them nail this skill:
Weave color references into everyday conversation. "What color shirt do you want to wear today?" "Let's find a white car." When you're reading, ask him to find the red bird on the page, or ask him what color the duck is.
Mix it up. Make clay or cookie dough, and divide it into several bowls. Add a few drops of different food coloring to each and knead it in. Then experiment with mixing the colors together. "What do you think will happen if we mix the yellow and the red?" Another fun idea: Put water in fancy clear bottles and have your child add food coloring. Put the bottles on the windowsill and let the sun shine through.
Sorting play. Most 3-year-olds start the year sorting according to their own whims rather than by color or size. But it's not too early to give him a shot at color coordination: Get some blocks in different colors and ask your child to sort them into piles by color. Or let him help you sort socks by color. It's fun to see the wheels turn in his mind as he solves the problem in his own way.
Make colors appear out of thin air. For a real crowd-pleaser, dangle a prism in the sunlight. (Many gift shops sell inexpensive hanging prisms.) The rainbows dancing on the walls will delight your child, and you can point out the colors that make up a rainbow.
Even if your child is basically potty trained by now, you can expect accidents, especially at night, for months or even years to come. Staying dry at night is the last step children master, and it tends to be harder for boys than for girls. But rest assured, most kids grow out of bed-wetting naturally. Most physicians don't consider it a problem until age 5 or 6.
No one knows exactly what causes bed-wetting. Sometimes physical traits are a factor (a small bladder, an immature nervous system, or a very deep sleep pattern). Emotional changes may also trigger bed-wetting. If your child starts having accidents after months of dry nights, it could be that she's facing new stresses or fears.
Don't make an issue of the wet sheets. Your matter-of-fact attitude when dealing with accidents will help lessen your child's embarrassment. If she's anxious, reassure her that it's a normal part of learning. Since bed-wetting can run in families, it may help your child to hear stories about how you or Dad took a while to stay dry at night when you were kids, too.
Eliminating liquids, including frozen or gelatin treats, after dinner can help. So can making a visit to the potty part of the bedtime routine. Some parents of frequent bed-wetters find it worth waking their child in the middle of the night (or just before the adults go to sleep, if it's a few hours after their preschooler went down) for a potty trip. If your child is a very deep sleeper, a brighter night-light may keep her from sleeping quite so soundly, making her more aware of bladder signals.
No more games of charades to decipher what your child wants. Thanks to his improved diction and amazing grasp of grammar, you should be able to understand more than three-fourths of what he's saying now. He uses longer sentences (three or more words) and a growing vocabulary (300 to 1,000 words — too many for you to count) to make himself understood.
Your budding conversationalist loves to talk and sing. Lengthy verbal turn-taking is a hallmark of this age. He'll be able to answer simple questions and also ask questions of his own. Sometime he cares less about the answer than keeping the conversation going. He'll begin to describe what he's seeing or doing and is starting to use words to reason things out. You'll notice him using more adjectives (the big red car) and correct verb tenses, adding "s" and "ing" when necessary. He may still have trouble producing some sounds, especially r, l, s, and th.
Your ever-more-independent child is probably starting to develop some friendships. But don't be surprised if, when you ask who her friends are, she recites her entire preschool class list. She doesn't fully understand the meaning of friendship yet. She may have favorites, but to her a "friend" is pretty much anybody she spends time with.
Three-year-olds can play cooperatively with others, but usually not for long. A successful playdate might last less than an hour. Many 3-year-olds continue to play alone but near other children or cooperate briefly and then move on to their own activity. Long interactive play sessions will probably start next year. Some shy children will need several "dates" to feel comfortable with another child.
Although your child probably seems much less self-centered than she did a year ago, she's still struggling with sharing. A young preschooler's way of saying "I'd like to play with you" may be to grab a toy from a playmate or even give him a shove. Some kids may be able to resolve conflicts themselves, but most will still run to a grownup for help. Here's your chance to teach about sharing and taking turns: "Why don't you let Jimmy have the bucket first? Then it's your turn." Most kids this age, just learning the art of negotiating, are willing to accept such compromises.
Ask most 3-year-olds how old they are and they'll proudly raise the correct number of fingers. Your child is starting to realize that those fingers he's holding up correspond to a number that has actual meaning. Don't be surprised if "three" is his favorite number — and the answer to every "How many?" question — for a while!
Most 3-year-olds can count to three and know the names of some of the numbers up to ten. Your child is also starting to recognize numbers from one to nine. He'll be quick to point it out if he receives fewer cookies than his playmate.
Although your child may only be able to count one or two blocks or trucks now, by the end of this year he'll be counting up to four or five. Counting without seeing what's being counted (2 + 2 = 4) is harder still, usually not accomplished until closer to kindergarten.
The best way to build math skills is to incorporate counting and sorting into your day. Count the number of squirrels you see as you walk or the red cars you pass on the road. Let your child touch objects as he counts.
Some call it the perfect toy. It doesn't require batteries, you can play just about anything with it, and chances are, you already have several at your house. What is it? A ball.
Three-year-olds don't know that playing catch and kicking a ball build hand-eye coordination and work out the fine-motor and gross-motor skills that will help them as they learn to do everything from hold a pencil to ride a bike. They just know that playing with a ball is a blast.
At 3, your child can probably kick and throw overhand pretty well. Doing it with good aim is another thing. And catching is a bit harder. Most children aren't truly coordinated catchers until they're 10 years old. For now, they may be able to catch a large ball with both arms out in front of them, particularly if the adult has good aim. The next step? Catching the ball with elbows bent. But it may take another year or two to get this down pat.
Catching skills vary greatly at this age. Some kids channel Golden Glovers from the start. Others need more practice or are much more timid. Playing catch with a large, soft, squishy ball or a partly inflated beach ball is a good idea for this age group — it's easier to grab and less scary when it hits your child.
Your child probably has a full set of primary teeth. (The last of these, the second molars, usually come in by 24 months.) Though these baby teeth won't begin to fall out until 5 at the earliest (and more typically at age 6 or 7), it's important to keep them clean and cavity-free. Teeth are vital for proper chewing, and baby teeth create spaces for your child's permanent teeth. Unchecked infections or cavities even in baby teeth can result in the erosion of gums and supportive ligaments, potentially leading to permanent tooth loss.
If your child hasn't seen a dentist yet, it's time to set up a visit. She'll reinforce good brushing habits, discuss dental sealants to prevent cavities in baby teeth, and deal with any cavities that have already appeared.
Preschoolers often work out complicated emotions in their play with animals, dolls, blocks, cars, or other playthings. After a traumatic doctor visit, for example, your child might line up all her teddy bears for shots. If she witnesses a car crash in real life or on TV, she may repeatedly smash toy trucks together.
Disturbing as this may be, don't interrupt right away. Your child is assimilating the new experience, and play is a safe way to do so. It might help her take the fear out of the situation or make her feel as if she's in control of the scenario.
You might want to join in the play if you notice one particular theme being rehashed over and over. Make a comment that invites your child to think through the next step: "Wow, those bears are getting a lot of shots. Are they sick? Do you think they're happy or sad?"
If your child has nothing but violent themes in her play, you might look at what she's seeing on TV or the computer, or consider whether she's been exposed to violence in real life. At this age, the evening news, cartoons, or movies can overwhelm a child.
Picture books are still the mainstay of a preschool reading diet, but it's a good idea to mix up your child's library. Some tips:
- Don't overlook nonfiction. There are some great introductory books out there about everything from animals to trucks.
- Touch on what's familiar. Three-year-olds love to read about things that occur in their everyday life, especially when the main character is a preschooler (or young animal): going to bed, shopping, cooking, going on vacation.
- Look to books to combat fears. Ask a children's librarian for titles that help your child face his fears about thunderstorms, for example, or those crazy emotions he can't control, like sibling rivalry.
- Don't toss the easier books with fewer words, like nursery rhymes. Before you know it, your child will be "reading" them on his own. The repetition helps him learn to relate what he's memorized to the words on the page, an important pre-reading skill.
Most 3-year-olds can cut across a piece of paper. At around 3 1/2, they can cut straight lines, staying within a half inch of a guideline, and may even be able to cut out a circle. To practice:
- Have your child sit at a table when cutting.
- Teach her how to hold the scissors correctly.
- Make sure you get a good pair. Blunt, child-size scissors are the safest starters, but some safety scissors or plastic ones barely get through the paper or they stick closed.
- Draw thick, straight lines on a piece of paper for your child to follow. Use thicker materials to cut through at first (thin cardboard or manila folders), then move on to construction paper and finally regular paper. She'll be snipping snowflakes in no time.
- If your child has trouble managing scissors or you don't have safe ones, let her try picking up objects around the house with a pair of tongs. The motion is the same as with scissors — open, close, open, close.
Preschoolers love to party. To help your child stay on the guest list, use these early invitations as an opportunity to teach him party manners that will help him his whole life long.
Make sure he knows the most basic concepts — that pile of presents is for the birthday kid and not the guests, for instance. You could also role-play some scenarios he might encounter at a party. Pretend you're the host and ask your child to greet you politely, shaking your hand. Practice giving a gift and taking turns at games. If he's a finicky eater, tell him what to say if he's offered a food he won't eat. Praise good efforts and forgive small mistakes. That's the best reinforcement.
Don't forget to model polite behavior yourself. Incorporate "please" and "thank you" into your everyday interactions. Thank the bank teller and the bagger at the grocery store. Show the same good table manners you'd use at a fancy restaurant when you're eating in your own kitchen.
